ARE
MOST SUCCESSFUL WOMEN SINGLE BY CHOICE OR ARE GUYS GENERALLY INTIMIDATED BY
THEM?
You
are enjoying yourself at the holiday dinner table with everyone in your family
and there comes the dreaded question ‘so when are we meeting him’? With the
assumption you’re already dating someone. And everyone is disappointed with you
because as far as they are concerned you are supposed to have met the right
nice guy because you are beautiful, intelligent, smart and successful! So why
are you not with any nice guy yet?My
friend Joyce believes one of the reasons some men don’t have the balls to talk
dating to the successful, smart and career-driven lady is because they assume
that she has got her life together which they find intimidating. Some men
rather prefer to keep this category of women as friends and nothing more than
friends. Dating them leaves them feeling ultimately, powerless and deprived
of their male role identity. They want to stay in control at all times and
therefore would rather date the stereotypical girly-girl who is both flirty and
sexually easy.
According
to Evan Marc Katz of Daily coaching, women’s most impressive traits are
evaluated. He believes that the flip side of being bright is highly opinionated
as well as the flip side of being entrepreneurial which is being a workaholic.
This implies that the same impressive traits that have helped you succeed both
academically and in your career can actually hurt your romantic journey and
success. He further emphasises that the traits that you feel are very
attractive and matter to you might not go well with guys. When it comes to
nailing that presentation and big job
offer interview, it is best to bring on your business savvy and professionalism
traits necessary to make them happen, but to be aware your potential suitors
may not find these traits attractive. In general men do appreciate intelligent
ladies who excel in all they do; however, they also want from their
ladies what they can’t get from their work and business associates- care, thoughtfulness,
nurturing, warmth affection, sweetness and playfulness
Let’s
imagine two Ladies X and Y who are both beautiful and attractive in looks and
personality and equally attracted to same guy.
The only difference between them is this: Girl X is extremely passionate
and career-oriented and Lady Y is not quite the same drive. 9 out of 10 guys
who independently took part in a survey I carried out on who they would love to
date chose Lady X. When 25 Ladies were
given the same scenario between guys X and Y, 24 of them (neither of them was
aware it was a survey) chose guy X, with one of the ladies adding she’d rather
not date someone who will spend all day playing videogames. Hence, it is not your Drive and passion for
your career that put men off rather the way that drive makes them feel that
actually put them off, and scare them away according to Hannah Orenstein of
Dating and Hook up.
Although
many men make it vocal on how they want to be in relationship with an
intelligent, motivated and successful woman, one thing still remains obvious,
once the relationship kicks off, they might find this woman so confident that she doesn’t actually need them
which generally puts them off. One of my friends’ boyfriends has always hated
Uni, so my friend Tricia would sometimes pretend she hated Uni or would not
discuss any school related stuff when they are together just to make him happy.
So Ladies, what do we do? Although you do not want to come across as the over
the top successful chic, you also do not want to dumb yourself and look like a
complete ditz. My honest opinion is if a
man genuinely wants to be with you, he will make everything possible to do
that. Dumbing yourself to snag a guy is just a low and wrong way to get into
that dream relationship, because once you start dumbing, you going to keep
dumbing all the way. In a more practical sense, women, no matter how successful
you are should let the man feel masculine. One of the ways to do that is to
allow him to occasionally take the lead, which is as simple as letting him be
the man. Sometimes people think letting the man be the man in a romantic relationship
isn’t a 21st century thing.
Whether
he’s picking up the check on your first date or opens the car door for you, no
need to put up a fuss, just are happy, thankful and enjoy the moment and his
medieval knightly system. The more you allow him to fulfil his masculine role
as the man, the more chances there are that his level of confidence and
security will increase (if you want that relationship to blossom).
Also, it is beautiful
for women to be themselves for some fresh air. Guys love hanging around real
girls who are interested in what they do, not airbrushed fake pictures clipped
from fashion magazine. They find them simply irresistible. More so, outside your school and work, guys
love to see your girly personality, for example if you love karaoke singing
night out or enjoy baking, knitting or jewellery making, show those sides of
you too. Let all your most feminine wiles shine through if you want to be
perceived as that sweet, friendly and approachable chic. But if you want your relationship the other
way, which is to be in control at all times and all-business, I promise you,
you will be dating yourself. Harsh! Right?
To end this post I
would say to the ladies who do not want to end up alone, when a beautiful
opportunity presents itself for a potential relationship, don’t blow it and
assume he is intimidated by your success, career, and motivation. So far you
are not dumbing yourself, Let him be the man and watch how the relationship
progresses in the direction you both desire.
I'll contribute to this from my personal experience. It is a cliche that most men are intimidated by successful/career-driven women. This may be true to a certain degree but on a personal note, I am not. It stems from self-confidence, why would a man that has solid ideas, good education(not necessarily at the level of the woman's), can hold his own etc be intimidated by a successful woman?. If you as a man has got your game right, dating and eventually being in a relationship with a successful woman would not be an issue. I understand some successful women let it get into their heads and would want to boss a man around but that is only if you allow it as a man. You don't necessarily have to shout, neither do you require aggression. It's all about putting your foot down. I have seen couples with the wives being the successful top executives while the husbands try their hands on one business or the other just to support their families and they still have the respect of their wives. If a woman is humble naturally and understands the value of 'man being the head of the family', their financial or career status won't affect how they are in their relationships.
ReplyDeleteTotally in accordance Dee!!:-) ..
Deletethere ain't any reason for a "real man" (Education,Hard-working) to be intimated by his Lady..Especially when a true love Exist between both! Unless other. nice one Laura dearly!. Xxx
Let me refer to proverbs 31:10-31. If anyone wants to succeed in life, never stay far away from the word of GOD. It teaches wisdom! GOD formed the woman to be the man's help-meet! If a woman finds herself successful in her career etc, she should see it as a privilege not an avenue to look down on people (men) or become overbearing and proud.
ReplyDeleteIn addition, virtous women must not date any dick, tom and harry that come their way. They must weigh and exam all spirits. There are a whole lot of boys out there, but true men are very few, and I am not talking about age here. I mean men of great values! Rare though, but they exist! They might not necessarily come in the shapes and sizes you want, but if u are wise, u'll be able to recognise them when they come along.
These men will encourage you to the height of success u ever aspire. They will put in all they have to see u up there. But if u settle for the less, you might not go far in life...even if u wud, u might have to do (anything) to keep up ur status!
Laura the great! Thank u for a job well done! keep writing girl.. am always looking forward to ur posts!
nice one sweet sis....
ReplyDeleteA career and successful woman is awesome but some men find it as a threat to have and cherish a woman with this characteristics challenging, let's sit back and see those qualities that would have made a woman successful; We look at leadership, assertiveness, creativity, hard working, highly organised and inspirational. Such Boss lady would definitely want or exhibit such behaviour born or acquired into them at home making them a boss wife. Most of us men would certainly avoid such women because of our useless ego.
ReplyDeleteur always right! cant wait to find a woman wit dis quality
ReplyDeleteA woman once said “Beauty attracts men but wisdom keeps them. Elegance catches men’s attention but intelligence convinces them. Nagging irritates men but ‘constructive silence weakens them. The ‘boy’ in every man pumps out occasionally, the ability to handle this is a woman’s truest maturity. Men have secret struggles and silent pains, should you ever find them out, you have exhibited the greatest maturity. In the long-run, your ‘words’ matters more to a man than your ‘looks’, so invest the right words. Earn a man’s respect and he will consider you the yard stick for all his action. Learn to mold the moods of your man. Men will naturally give u their futures if they can recall your maturity in yesterday’s issues… Women are everywhere but queens are scarce. Let the queen in you come alive and he will hold you in high esteem. Food4tot!
ReplyDeleteI particularly find this captivating as much as it tickles my fancy because of how often i get to experience this either via communicating with young men and women, professionals, and career drive personalities or by being in the scenario where this incident manifest. This intimidation is an offshoot of either the ''aha experience'' of ladies because they have been schooled by a miss independent teacher who obviously made them aware of how possible it is for female folks to live their dreams against all odds or the inability of young men, even in their professional expertise have not come to the awareness that the mantra for success even in relationship is sustainability and growth. I understand that a connection with a self confident, productive, purpose driven lady could be challenging to the masculine ego, but then it shouldn't be that way because iron naturally will sharpen iron and it takes a deep mind to identify a deep mind. Bottom line, if you like the lady, go for her...to help your ego, just know that her accomplishments and style are in simple terms what i call ''Extraneous Variables'' which increase your anxiety the moment she shows up.
ReplyDeleteObviously guys that get intimidated by women's success have serious inferiority complex! From the stories av heard, a lot of men do not value women who are not working or contributing financially in their homes or rlships, yet these same men get intimidated by the same women (or their wives) when they eventually start working and earning good money. And i ask myself, what do guys really want?
ReplyDeleteAll the successful ladies i hail you all! Never let your guards down for any man. Keep working hard and keep being on top! Else these same men will leave you for another successful lady! Every human being has that "thing" in them that needs to be nurtured! That strong powerful woman could still be very soft and meek and needs the care and attention from a well-deserved man! xxDebbiexx
ReplyDeleteMost men love to be honoured and respected. They love to be in charge and domineering and as such sees any successful woman as threats to their 'manhood'! GOD created both man and woman equally and gave them equal rights. So men should start seeing women as equal partners (as it is written in the bible) not some slaves or lower creatures! After all, they say what a man can do, a woman can do it even better! This 'am the man in charge' mentality had held most men bound and no matter how much a successful woman pleases a man, he would always find a way to bend her!
ReplyDeleteThe more reason why ladies 'that know their worth' should be very careful who they let into their lives! Don't have anything to do with a man that has a lot of issues!
A woman is much more than money/material things! There are great men of great values who appreciate successful women and encourage them.
I know so many successful women who are down to earth, loving, kind, caring and GOD fearing. £The First Lady£
it's amazing how we all see things from different perspectives, yet conveying the same message. Thank you all for taking time to write your thoughts. It's getting really interesting here! xx
ReplyDelete