SOME HELPFUL WAYS TO STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT US

Sometimes we find ourselves living every day wondering what people think about us. Yes I used to be mindful of other peoples' feelings, thoughts as well as their perceptions about me,which is extremely unhealthy, because apart from the fact that    I was  depriving myself of own happiness, I was living everyday trying to please others which is kind of an insult to GOD. Yes it is beautiful to be mindful of our actions because they define us, however, it becomes unhealthy when we live pretentiously trying not to be in someone’s bad book. One thing you need to be aware of is you will not answer to anyone in the end apart from GOD.  Now let’s delve into the healthy and helpful tips on how to give less attention to what/how others think/feel about us:

1.      YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE: You can never please everyone no matter how much you care about what they think. There will always be people who will be very critical and judgemental. They will always expect you to do better or compare you with someone who they think had done it better. That’s life for you. Imagine you living everyday trying to avoid other peoples’ criticism and judgement! So my friends recognise it is impossible to please everyone, that way you will care less about what others think.

2.      EVERYONE’S GOT THEIR OPINION SO LIVE AND LET OTHERS LIVE:  We all see things in different ways, so just because I feel a certain way about an issue does not mean that my opinion is the best. Nothing wrong in letting your opinion out there, but don’t expect people to change because of your opinion about  them. A lot of people form judgements on others based on false or superficial representations they see.

3.      OVERTHINKING IS HARMFUL SO JUST STOP:

It’s unhealthy to over analyse things and continuously dwell on a particular negative experience you had with that friend or your negative reaction to an event. Instead of spending time over thinking and worrying, use the opportunity to problem solve and move on/forward. You have all it takes to break away from that negative cycle.

4.      SHIFT YOUR FOCUS: Each time you find yourself worrying about what others think of either your work or something you have done, train yourself to shift your mind and focus to what matters. you can’t accommodate two opposite thoughts in your head and expect to deliver effectively for example, you cannot be worrying about a failed project  while simultaneously thinking about what your so called friends think of you or the comments they have made about you. There is a limit to what you can focus on at the same time, so my friends, make it count.

5.      WHAT’S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?: Once you find yourself worrying about what people think about you, take a step back and ask yourself the above question! What’s the worst that could happen??? Are you going to be fired from your job? Is your landlord about to kick you out due to arrears of rent unpaid/owed? What is that worst case scenario that you fear? Chances are, you can get through those worst case scenarios and to be honest with you the so called worst case scenarios may not even happen!!! You are only desensitizing yourself of those fears.

6.      BE YOURSELF/ACCEPT YOURSELF:  Accept who you are and being yourself is liberating. If you don’t accept who you are, how can people accept and love you the way you are? You live every day putting up an act; for how long? If your happiness is highly dependent on other peoples’ opinion, I promise you, you will never be happy.

7.      THE POWER OF POSITIVE CLIQUE: Avoid spending your time with negative minds; they will only sow negativity and fear into your life. One thing I’ve made up my mind to do is to surround myself with positive and self-assured people! Hanging around Optimistic and confident people will only bring out the best in you and help you see things in different light as well as motivate/encourage you to be the unique person you are!

We are supposed to be life builders. This is the reason I take time to bring real life matters to the table just to assist us in our journey of life. So I do hope someone out there will take these points in to consideration and be more in control.